Lies Books Taught Me: Stalking=Dating


Someone needs to explain how dating works to me. I’m really bad at it, and, in books, dating is almost always the product of… stalking.

That can’t work in real life… right?

And I get that a lot of the examples that immediately spring to mind are older: Confessions of Georgia Nicholson, Twilight, Stephanie Plum. But I read a lot and I don’t think this phenomenon has disappeared.


When I think about stalking=dating in the real world, I can come up with a few examples, too.  I have a friend whose parents started dating because her mom made every excuse she could to visit her dad’s place of employment in high school. They are still happily married.

Then, there are the less successful stories. I had a friend who wanted to marry rich, so she started hanging around places where she thought she would meet rich men. This worked for getting her dates, but not so much for a lasting relationship. Another friend is intent on going out with a guy and stops by his workplace to flirt at least once a week. Nothings come of it, but, who knows? Maybe there is a “yet” at the end of that sentence.

There is something to be said for making yourself available for the object of your affection. Nobody can flirt with you if you are holed up in your room playing Dragon Age. (Just me?) But… where is the line between being available and straight up stalking?

Personally, I haven’t tried this since high school. But mostly what I remember is I was so obsessed with “being available” for one particular person that I missed out on a lot of other opportunities that could have bloomed into teenage love and dramatic breakups.


So tell me two things in comments: 1. What is the most realistic love story you’ve ever read? and 2. Have you ever stalked anyone into dating you?

Steph is really bad at bios. She teaches high school English in Virginia, has a soft spot in her heart for dark YA, and the first thing anyone says when visiting her apartment for the first time is, “Wow, you have a lot of books.” Check out her blog at (The link is the kiss below in the social media icons.)

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